The cost of a legal education

I have officially stopped [intense] studying for the bar exam.

I’d be lying to myself if I said that it hasn’t been a tough two months. I started studying a few weeks before my review course was scheduled to start, and stayed at least a week ahead of schedule. Despite having studied 10-12 hours a day/7 days a week, taken hundreds of practice questions, and read through outlines once, twice, and even three times, I still find myself missing issues, getting multiple choice questions wrong, or forgetting the names of legal doctrines. I honestly do not precisely remember every rule, but I can confidently say that I have a good understanding of each of the 20+ subjects that I’ll be tested on. And as annoyed as I am for having to know all of them, I can see why the bar examiners want us to be equipped with this information before we can call ourselves lawyers. Who knows, maybe I’ll get into Oil & Gas some day? (kidding… sort of. Depends how desperate I am for work).

I really hope I do well on this exam. Mostly because I want to move on with my life. I sacrificed three years to attend law school, and before I knew it, I was 22 going on 25. I’ve been so busy being responsible, careful with my money, and eager to fill up my resumé that I feel like I haven’t really gotten to enjoy my youth. I’ve witnessed my friends grow up, make new friends, travel, socialize, and progress in their careers, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve been missing out.

There’s all this talk about the rising cost of a legal education, and that it’s no longer a career where you’re promised a high paying job or job security. What nobody tells you about are the non-monetary costs of a legal education: the hours you spend preparing for class, the competitive and adversarial nature of the students and system alike, the cynicism you develop towards humankind, and the hopelessness you feel when your sense of justice has been offended. The study of law is a depressing thing. It’s not glamorous, and it’s not easy. It sure as hell took a toll on me. But it was a challenge that I am thankful to have come out stronger because of. It was a journey that I’m glad I embarked on, but I won’t be saying that I’d do it all over again any time soon.

This bar exam is my final test before I can say I’ve completed this chapter. Let’s hope I pass, and never have to look back.